First chapter

"Observe that the text is automatic translated to English, and some defaults can appear"

I was going for a week to visit my lovely friends in Barcelona in August 2021. We had waited a long time to see each other and the borders were opened only a few months before after the lengthy lockdown in the wake of the covid pandemic.

It was my first own trip that I was going to do myself after the years with the kids at home and I felt so excited but also nervous with a feeling that now it's time to go.

Previously, I had always thought that it was only brave people who traveled alone and that it might be a bit boring not to travel with someone. But I quickly put that thought aside and decided to allow the adventure to come to me, enjoy my own company to the fullest.

The second the plane landed at El Prat airport in Barcelona, I felt the energy flow through my body. Like a big huge shiver that just washed through my whole body almost as if I was freezing. The feeling that finally I'm where I'm supposed to be and a huge happiness just ran through my whole body.

My friend picked me up at outside the airport and the happiness to meet again, was amazing. We spent the whole warm evening on my friends' terrace in the mountains outside Barcelona and I enjoyed the moment to the fullest and felt such gratitude to be right there at that time, with people who gave all their energy to make me feel comfortable. You know when you feel like you can be yourself fully and just feel free and happy.

My days went by with long walks in La Floresta, San Cugat and in Barcelona. I spent the days by myself when my friends were busy with their jobs. But it didn't bother me at all and I discovered that "here I go and feel good about myself". I decided to discover and try something new every day, which made each new day a new adventure.

After a few days during one of my long hikes, I suddenly hear a strong voice inside me "You're going to France Kicki"

What was that, I thought and continued my walk in the sun. Then that voice comes again, now with even more strength "You're going to France Kicki". Now it's starting to feel a little uncomfortable and I feel a little dizzy and nauseous there in the sun and have to sit in the shade and drink some water.
What is happening, I think, have I started hallucinating or had my brain got to much sun?

The voice does not fall silent, but the message becomes stronger and clearer the longer the day goes on and when a friend calls and asks how I am, I can't help but tell about my strange experience. Imagine my surprise when the response is "Of course you should go Kicki, it's time now for you to go to your France"

When I hang up I am completely clear in my head, I will rebook the ticket, rent myself a car and follow the flow to the country that calls me.

Now it feels like a volcanic eruption has erupted inside and the feeling can't be resisted.

That same evening I tell my Spanish friends what has come to me and like my friend before, the message is super clear. Without a doubt they say the same thing "Of course you should go to France Kicki, what a fantastic adventure for you" We toasted in cold Cava and talked about my upcoming adventure for the rest of the evening and the joy that spread inside was so warm and powerful that I felt like dancing with happiness.

With great confidence, I rebooked the flight ticket and extended my trip by a week, booking a car from the train station in the center of Barcelona. That alone felt tingly since I had never driven in the central parts before, but only from the airport. Then I came to the question, where should I go?

My friend and I sat down with her computer and looked at the map of southwest France that connects to Spain and thought about for 3 minutes before she exclaims. "Now I know where you're going"

She googles a place where she herself spent a lot of time as a youngster, called Carcassonne and the second the pictures come up on the screen I just know, that's the place I'm going to. The feeling of total self-confidence is so strong and the warmth spreads through my body like a shiver again.

I book a hotel room and all of a sudden I have a plan even though I don't really know where the place is or what awaits me.

Monday morning and I'm driven to Barcelona Sans train station and eagerly waiting in line at the car rental office and just feel like I want to get away as soon as possible. As if someone is kind of pushing me in the back and I just want to move forward without the slightest resistance.

My turn finally.

Unfortunately, we don't have the car you booked in, the woman says and blips on her screen and I start to feel a little nervousness that there will be a delay, but don't have time to think anymore before the woman looks at me and says "The car you booked is not available, but wait a minute and I'll see what I can give you instead, don't worry, I'll solve this" She blips and blips and the minutes tick on, but I let her do her job and think that this will be fine.

The woman suddenly looks up and says "I'll upgrade you as compensation, is it ok with a BMW X2 with automatic transmission at the same price?"

I feel like a queen when I get in the car and drive through the whole of central Barcelona as if I've never done anything else, before heading north on the highway towards the French border.

I turn up the volume on the stereo, press the accelerator a little more and the feeling that now it's time goes through my whole body like a huge shiver and I steer further north. Towards a new world, towards my country, so happy and free.

France, here I come.